I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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