This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
