worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
