That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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