i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
