More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
