i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
