I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
