i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i think i have two assholes
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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