I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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