Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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