brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
