My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
