i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize