I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
