My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
