wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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