I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
