She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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