My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
