4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
