idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
