Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize