Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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