I am puke
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
She announced her abortion via fbk
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
