are you still at the devil's house?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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