Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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