True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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