Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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