everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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