You smell like stripper and shame
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
We have so much sex to catch up on
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
