Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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