She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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