You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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