She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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