He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
