He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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