yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
