His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
