I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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