I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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