were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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