I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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