Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm always down for nudity.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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