i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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