i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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