I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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