Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
