After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
