Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
