your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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