I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
