carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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