she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
