I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
it's not cheating when I paid for it
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
