party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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