my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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