I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
