It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
