VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
im six kinds of drunk right now
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize