Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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