i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Sorry about my life...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
