Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize