I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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