Me. At least after what I've been through.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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