Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
