I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I fill condoms, not promises.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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