Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
